Nytårsforsæt - Forslag til slankekur . . . :D

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina

for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I
told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended
up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pants pockets
with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time
you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete [censored] I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a
tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why
I was in the hospital. I said no... I'd been sitting in
the street licking my balls and a car hit me.