Verten

Correct, I could have been more clear about that. No, we broke up for unrelated reasons.

Dang, yeah, that would have me worried too. Good you guys talked about it, and figured out a better way to do things in the future No one ever approached her when we were out together, so that wasn't ever an issue. As for people checking her out, I didn't ever mind that. She's an attractive woman, so it's natural to look. My jealousy doesn't extend that far. If anything it would make me feel proud, like "Yeah, this gorgeous woman you're checking out is mine." Haha.

Yes, definitely. Not ever full on afraid, but there is some inherent risk to this kind of work, so there was always some small amount of worry about "what if?" scenarios. The way we dealt with it is that she would text me relevant details before she saw a client. So if she was doing outcalls she'd give me the address, or the hotel and room number, license plate if she was meeting the client in a car (I don't remember if that ever actually happened) and so on. Then at the end of her appointment she'd text or call me to let me know she was alright. That way if something bad ever did happen and I didn't hear from her, I could call the police and tell them where to go or whatever. I didn't expect that it would ever come to that point, and it didn't, but it seemed like a reasonable precaution to take.

This isn't going to be the most thorough reply right now, it's very late (or very early!) and I ought to be going to bed. If I remember, I will maybe come back tomorrow and expand on it a bit. In the meantime, feel free to send me a message privately if you'd like. I used to be in a relationship with a sex worker. She didn't hide it from me. In fact it was something we had talked about and I consented to it. She had been in not a great place financially, and she saw it as one way of getting more financially stable and independent. She would talk about it every once in a while, and eventually I agreed that we could try it, on the condition that if I ever felt badly enough about it I could tell her to stop and that she would do so. I think I'm a very open minded person. I think sex work is absolutely a valid line of work, and I realize that there's no romantic emotion involved in it (ideally), so I thought I'd be able to handle it okay. As it turned out though, it unfortunately ended up being a big source of tension in our relationship. In spite of me rationally realizing these things, that it was just a job for her etc, I couldn't help but be jealous about it. I didn't get angry or anything like that about it, but there were definitely many times it was tearing me up inside a bit. I was encouraging to her, and comforting when she had a bad day and needed that. I wanted her to be successful and do well with it, but at the same time it hurt me when she was. It was a weird and confusing mixture of emotions. I think maybe the most difficult and hurtful part of it for me was that I often felt that I didn't get as much emotional support from her as I was giving. And that leads me to I think the absolute most important piece of advice I can give you: make sure that you communicate how you're feeling to her and that she can give you emotional support when you need it. I can tell you're already feeling uneasy about this, so I'm sure you'll need it. Your emotional well being is important and you need to look after it. Since, from what you said, she seems happy with her work, your mental health is more at risk here than hers, so make sure it gets the care it needs. Of course, you should support her as well. You just both need to communicate and talk a lot about how you're feeling and how your relationship is going (well, that's good advice for all relationships). Having friends you can talk and vent to as well when you need would be incredibly good too. I stupidly didn't talk to anyone about these things, this is actually I think the first time ever, and I too often let things build up inside. As for your specific questions: Being apart from each other can be difficult in any relationship, so that might be an added source of tension on top of other things. Infamously long distance relationships are very hard to keep up, but if it's only a handful of weeks a year she's away, I would imagine it should be manageable. Oof, yeah, I did the same and it hurt. The morbid curiosity is incredibly hard to fight. In a sense it's almost a self-harming type of behavior. Like "I know if I read this I will feel like absolute shit, but now that I know it's there I can't not read it." I don't have any particular advice here, except I guess "try not to do that." And if you do, I'll just reiterate what I said above: find an outlet for your emotions and thoughts. Talk to someone. Obviously I don't know your lady friend, so I can't comment on how she approaches things specifically. I will say though in our case, and I believe the same is true for the vast majority of sex workers, it's really just a job. Her acting like a girlfriend toward her clients is just that: acting. The experience of a genuine connection is part of the service she's selling, but it's not real. It's just her being a professional at her job. She doesn't actually have romantic feelings for her clients. Hopefully anyway. If she does then that's a whole other problem. This particular thing never worried me. I didn't feel any change to our sex life. Our sex was exactly as fulfilling as it always had been, and it was still marked with the chemistry we had and the emotional connection we shared. There was still all the love there. With me she had "real" sex, and with her client it was a professional courtesy. With that said though it is absolutely natural for you to feel insecure about it. I did too at times. These feelings are perfectly valid to have. This is okay, as long as you deal with it in a healthy manner. Again, talk. Talk to your girlfriend and anyone else who can give you some support in those times (you can talk to me too). Well, I think I will wrap up here for now. I realize I've maybe made this sound like absolute hell and doomed to fail, but I don't actually think it is. I think it is definitely possible to have a functional relationship with a sex worker, but it will just take more work than a more "normal" relationship. It can be done, just know though that it can be a rocky road at time. I wish you the best of luck. This did turn out to be a pretty in depth answer anyway, so disregard the first paragraph I wrote, haha. And now I'm definitely to tired to go back and proofread and edit this, so apologies if it's a bit rambly.