Jalousi

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Rafaela skrev, den 2.10.2025 at 11:07:

You don't know me personally; I'm not a reference or example for you to cite.

Well on a public forum, you don't get to choose who cites or references you.

And no, I don't know you and I have not spoken a single word about you.

But I have mentioned the views that you have expressed and expressed my views on your views. If my views provoke you, I am sorry, but that is a part of exchanging opposing views...

If I misunderstood your views, then I apologize, but from your comments it seems I understood them just fine.

Rafaela skrev, den 2.10.2025 at 11:07:

And if I'm with someone and he dare—yes, you read that right - if he dare to be jealous of me—I'll end it myself because I find jealousy unattractive. I consider he uninteresting and lacking in personality. Because, for me, jealousy is also a sign of distrust, possessiveness and that the person hasn't truly understood who I am. I don't give anyone the freedom to question my honesty in a relationship.

And this comment is the perfect example of what I was talking about...

I don't know if this is how you truely feel, if it's a facade or if you wrote it just to provoke me.

But someone who actually feels what you are expressing here is clearly distancing herself (or himself) from her partner.

The statement leaves no room at all for your feelings. For the fact that love is not logical but emotional in nature. There is no easy way to discard someone you love the way you descibe here. In my view this statement is the very essense of distance and self protection.

I know of two ways people end up feeling like this.

Either they found love, got hurt badly and can't risk ever hurting that bad again.

For anybody in that situation, I hope you find the person that makes you trust and dare to love again 

Or they never found true love at all and still thinks it is logical and within our control.

For you, I hope you find the person who makes you wiser about yourself 

[Rafaela 450]

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Well on a public forum, you don't get to choose who cites or references you.

I can't choose, but I may not like you using my answer as a basis for “creating” your text

 

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And no, I don't know you and I have not spoken a single word about you

You can write now that you don't know me but you used my words, which are personal opinions, to give an example of your "theories"

 

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But I have mentioned the views that you have expressed and expressed my views on your views. If my views provoke you, I am sorry, but that is a part of exchanging opposing views...

Your opinions don't provoke me, you just can't believe and spread the word that if someone thinks like me - it means the things you wrote, because you don't know me.

 

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If I misunderstood your views, then I apologize, but from your comments it seems I understood them just fine.

Yes, you misunderstand someone who doesn't feel jealous, and I am sorry, but there's no need to apologize for your way of thinking.

 

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And this comment is the perfect example of what I was talking about...

I don't know if this is how you truely feel, if it's a facade or if you wrote it just to provoke me.

But someone who actually feels what you are expressing here is clearly distancing herself (or himself) from her partner.

 

No, I'm not provoking you. I'm saying what I feel; I'm not a "character" to get "likes."

If you think someone who thinks like me is distancing herself from a partner, I must tell you that I feel much happier alone than with a jealous partner. It's all very simple for me...

 

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The statement leaves no room at all for your feelings. For the fact that love is not logical but emotional in nature

My statement prioritizes my peace. And yes, I agree...love isn't logical, but I can choose how I prefer to live my life: in a prison and the negative consequences of jealousy, or in the peace of being free and doing what I want.
 

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There is no easy way to discard someone you love the way you descibe here

Yes, it's easy for me, because jealousy, as I wrote, is something that doesn't attract me, it bothers me, and it makes me lose interest. But understand - it's not a single bad behavior, and I give a "strike”, I try to show - that this is not something good for me... but the jealous person usually never stops.

 

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In my view this statement is the very essense of distance and self protection

I don't protect myself and distance myself, I end the subject because it's not healthy to live with someone who I need to prove something to that the person should already know if he's with me.

 

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I know of two ways people end up feeling like this.

Either they found love, got hurt badly and can't risk ever hurting that bad again.

I've loved (rarely), I've been loved (I think…), I'm not afraid to take risks, if I meet someone who naturally interests me, I live it intensely but I have no problem ending it if it becomes uninteresting to me.

 

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For you, I hope you find the person who makes you wiser about yourself

I don't feel like I need to find someone to make me wiser. I believe that first I should be well and happy with myself (and that's how I feel) and then if and maybe I find someone who makes me happy, he will be a complement and not a necessity.

Rafaela 

Redigeret 4. Oktober af Rafaela

[Statler 304]

FYI House kommer nok ikke lige forbi EG forløbigt. Jeg har været i en løbende dialog med ham, men tingene er kun gået mere "sydpå". Han skulle efter signende have det ok efter omstændighederne, men proffesionelle passer på ham. Jeg uddybere ikke yderligere her i tråden af hensyn til ham, men svarer på PM's efter bedste evne, hvis der er nogen der har behov for yderligere. Tak for alle jeres input omkring Jalouse, hvilket er et undervurderet men stadigvæk et stærkt aktuelt emne!   Tænker tråden bør lukke her!