Hi

First, I want to state for sure that I am in this sugar-game because I love it. 

Of course, it helps me pay the rent and have a little easier in other ways. I do it very limitedly according to my normal job and my family activities. But I love sex and I love meeting nice and respectful gentlemen for hot dates 

I have the last days reflected about why I also sometimes feel sad and stressed when I do it. It has actually been initiated by a well-intentioned organization which has written to me several times to "help me" out of the “bad” sugar-game. Each time I have answered them that they should concentrate their efforts on some girls who needed it more, because I am actually settled and happy with what I do.

But it has made me think a little about things and why it sometimes is not so fun - indeed also is quite stressful.

It has never been the meetings themselves. I allways meet nice and respectful men and have good time when we are together. I haven't actually had bad experiences, but only have had nice and naughty meetings. Thank you for that 

But I sometimes get stressed and upset because of everything that happens in the communication before the actual meetings and always with men I never come to meet. And that is unfortunately the case with by most of the time I spend on communication with men. What causes this is different things.

First there are the men who just write very unpleasant and threatening messages out of nowhere. I know I shouldn't take them seriously, but it's actually very uncomfortable to recieve. 

Then there are all the men who constantly want to negotiate price, time or anything else that is beyond my limits like safe sex and other services. They don’t accept a nice no thanks and keep on bargain.

And there are men who won't send a picture before a meeting, which I require. I understand and accept that they won’t, but they won't understand and accept that I choose to meet the men who have no problem with it. It is my requirement to be sure that I enjoy a meeting myself and can therefore also give more enjoy the other way.

All these men write again and again and generally have the attitude that because they have to pay, they can demand anything. The worst thing is that many people get very angry when I politely decline and suggest that they find other nice girls who do not have the same requirements. Several write very bad things, call me bad names and are sometimes a some threatening.

And then there are the men who provide a nice dialogue and make a agreement, which they either cancel at the last minute, often more than on time if they get the chance again, and those who do not show up for appointments and go silent after that. There are really many of them, and I don't understand the purpose. Someone even writes up to 5 minutes before the meeting that they are almost there, but then suddenly no answer and a blocking where we have been writing together. So strange.

It would be easy to say I should just stay away from this business if I don't like the way it's some people write and act. But why should bad behavior force me to stop? And I think even more about the girls who are forced to work full time with this. Then I can understand if they are stressed.

I just wonder what is the purpose of this behaviours? Why would some men deliberately bother and speak badly to the girls in this business?

This is not a generel attack against men. I really appreciate all the serious men I talk and meet with. I really love the thrill of meeting new men, the good feeling of men coming again as regulars for more Company and basicly all I good sex we share 

But there is a large group of men who behave really bad and without respect. They make it uncomfortable for us girls and they also ruin it for all you serious men. I just don't understand why?

This were my weekend reflections thanks to a nice organization that wants to help me in this game. Perhaps they should help me with the  communication to the men 

Enjoy your weekend

Best wishes from Dark SB

Redigeret 5. August, 2023 2 år af Dark Sugarbabe

Thank you for this well written report from your life in the sugar-game.

As far as I can see, you can almost transcend this kind of bad, rude, disrespectful and egoistic behavior to the society in general, even though your business is very special and tend to attract many idiots.

But you also meet the stupidity and primitivity on the social media in general and on the internet. They have ruined a lot, because you can always find these echo chambers, where you can get confirmed in anything, you believe in, even the most horrific opinions, provocations, and homemade theories on difficult subjects. We live in an extreme ego-culture. In a  time with a lack of responsibility. It's Me Me Me.

You meet it on your job, in the traffic, in the political world and even among people you have regarded as friends. Many have difficulties in listening to others with different opinions. They are not able to discuss a matter in a decent way ,like we always could, when I was young, where the strongest argument won the debate, and everybody came home more wise. Now a fact is no longer a fact. Take a look at USA for example.

We, and the world,  therefore get more and more dividid. I think it's fifty-fifty - decent people and idiots. Therefore, in my opinion, you and other girls have to waste time with so many fools.

It's so sad. I agree with you. 

Regarding why some men do that, I think there is more than one reason. One is just internet culture. People do not see the human at the other end when they send an sms. I also think we men are more driven regarding sex. I do not insist on something but I might then go somewhere else.

I am pretty sure many of us do not bother to read the ad. I would love to read it, but most ads are really really bad. Lots of long copy/paste, descriptions that does not actually match the girl, etc. More men will read your ad if it is obvious from the first sentence that you have something to say. Awful ads condition us to skim it and any human would do that.

Writing your rules does work. I never contact a girl if I do not like the rules. You probably do filter out some men.

I looked up your ad. I get confused about it. Are you a sugarbabe or do you do normal incall? Looks like normal incall to me. Is sugardating not supposed to be a phony paid friends with benefits of sorts? What is the relation aspect of it? Could a solution be that the first meeting is more like a date thing without sex? Then you could see the guy and you might have fewer but more regular customers? So less time spent on new customers who do not accept the rules? Maybe I am just old fashioned and do not understand sugardating.

Signor Cuoco skrev, for 17 minutter siden:

Thank you for this well written report from your life in the sugar-game.

As far as I can see, you can almost transcend this kind of bad, rude, disrespectful and egoistic behavior to the society in general, even though your business is very special and tend to attract many idiots.

It's so sad. I agree with you. 

I agree that there is a general trend in society. But I don't agree that there isn't a difference. I don't think anonymous men send bad messages to bakers, restaurants and others.

For example, I've never heard of people scam a restaurant because the prices are too expensive or the menu doesn't have what they want. They just choose another restaurant that matches their wishes better.

Some men actually get angry because I don't want to do sex without because they of course are totally healthy. Maybe they are healthy, but how can I know and why should they even complain about my limits.

latinas4ever skrev, for 31 minutter siden:

Writing your rules does work. I never contact a girl if I do not like the rules. You probably do filter out some men.

I looked up your ad. I get confused about it. Are you a sugarbabe or do you do normal incall?

Yes, it is true that over time my ad has developed into something in between sugar dating and regular incall/outcall. But that is what I am offering, something in between.

It should be made clear in my ad that you can visit me in my apartment or that I can visit under certain conditions wich is described.

But I also write that I do not want short meetings or operate with a definite menu from which you can choose.

But you are quite right, few men read the text, they just look at the pictures. I have no problem with that. I just use my ad text to refer to when I answer.

The point is that many men do not accept my demands. They think that because they have to pay, I can't make demands, and only they can. And when I tell them, that I won't meet for 15 minutes of BJ/CIM or whatever, or that I won't meet without seeing a picture first, they get angry and write unpleasant messages. Why can't they just accept and move on to girls who will give them what they want? And I write very nice 

Incidentally, I have tried a process where the first meeting was a meet and greed. But far too many men just wanted to meet and drink coffee and I actually also want to get some sex out of it  So now it's a combination of regular incall/outcall and sugar dating.

The good thing about my long ad is that some men actually read and understand it, and it comply very well to their wishes. These has become regular friends and lovers and thats what I really want 

latinas4ever skrev, for 52 minutter siden:

I never contact a girl if I do not like the rules.

I like this attitude. I dont understand why all men dont follow this.

it seems that there is many pro girls that offers what mens useally ask about, so why try to bargain and get angry with someone who don’t.

Redigeret 5. August, 2023 2 år af Dark Sugarbabe

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, for 39 minutter siden:

For example, I've never heard of people scam a restaurant because the prices are too expensive or the menu doesn't have what they want. They just choose another restaurant that matches their wishes better.

I am sure it is much worse for you girls. But you would be surprised. Do not know about bakers etc. I thankfully do not have much contact with customers anymore. But when I did, some of them do try to scam you. It was a totally legit company.

Customers will ask you to do things and afterwards they say they did not know they had to pay for it. They will call a colleague and lie about what was said. They will say you have not delivered unless you do something that was not in the contract. They will ask you to do things because "they really need it". If they are anonymous, some are abusive and lie outright. Anyway, I am sure it is much worse for you.

I appreciate the service I got over the years and I think many of the girls are nice (with a few exceptions). So I do my best to be respectful. I also find it odd that men would not just go elsewhere. I suspect there are many reasons. Everything from personality issues, a bad day, misunderstandings, frustration, disappointment, etc.

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, for 2 timer siden:

But there is a large group of men who behave really bad and without respect. They make it uncomfortable for us girls and they also ruin it for all you serious men. I just don't understand why?

The same is equally true for women on SD. Maybe more than half are only on there to scam men, asking for large sums of money in advance, pretending to want to do sugardating but actually are only selling pictures and videos, etc. I've been told more than one story of men showing up to sugardates only to find themselves being scammed or threatened in various ways to hand over their money. Further, as reported on this forum repeatedly, just like the guys many girls also don't show up for planned dates or block you just before a meeting.

I don't understand why these women act this way?  

latinas4ever skrev, for 18 minutter siden:

Customers will ask you to do things and afterwards they say they did not know they had to pay for it. They will call a colleague and lie about what was said. They will say you have not delivered unless you do something that was not in the contract. They will ask you to do things because "they really need it". If they are anonymous, some are abusive and lie outright. Anyway, I am sure it is much worse for you.

I appreciate the service I got over the years and I think many of the girls are nice (with a few exceptions). So I do my best to be respectful

I don’t think a baker will meet the word “skodso” as many time, as I do from people I don’t know. I have tried to find out, what it means, but Im still no totally sure. But its not nice, I think 

Actually I think some men has a problem feeling rejected, when I don’t want to give the services, they ask me to. That make them react with anger.

It’s so easy to act with respect and most men do that fortunately 

Emptyman skrev, for 19 minutter siden:

I don't understand why these women act this way?  

I don’t understand either. It destroys credibility for the rest of us. But sugardaters have a verification that should prevent that?

I have myself been asked a couple of times to go and meet some men at places, where there was nobody, just to find my self blocked just before I arrive. That feels very unsafe to a girl. They was not even try to trick me for money, it was just to harass me.

Redigeret 5. August, 2023 2 år af Dark Sugarbabe

"So" is a female pig. "Skod" means something that sucks (because it is bad). Sorry, I am sure you do not deserve that. And yeah, I never met that level of bad behaviour. But it is very common online in anonymous communication. Are some also like that when you meet them?

I do not like to make generalisations. But somewhat related to what Emptyman is writing, I do not have good experience with african girls. I have seen many, more than enough to know it is not a coincidence. The black latina girls give great service(with exceptions), so maybe it is a cultural difference, not sure.

There is a clear pattern. They try to make you pay extra for things that are normally included (basically everything). They tighten their hips so you cannot move. You are not allowed to touch anywhere. They soon ask you to hurry up even if you paid for an hour. French is very brief and some positions are not allowed. It can be very frustrating but hard to do anything about it and still feel ok about it. But other than that, I think most girls are nice. Just to say that it goes both ways, but I do not have experience with sugar dating.

latinas4ever skrev, for 11 minutter siden:

"So" is a female pig. "Skod" means something that sucks (because it is bad). Sorry, I am sure you do not deserve that. And yeah, I never met that level of bad behaviour. But it is very common online in anonymous communication. Are some also like that when you meet them?

You don’t have to spell it out to me. I have guessed (and heard before) that it is not nice.

No, nobody is like that when we meet. And of course I never meet someone who starts a disrespectful conversation like that. But all men I meet is very respectful an most comes again and again.

latinas4ever skrev, for 14 minutter siden:

I do not have good experience with african girls. I have seen many, more than enough to know it is not a coincidence.

That was a very hard statement. Lucky for me there is someone who thinks the opposite 

But the point is also that you don't will not write and try to get an appointment with an African woman at all I guess. And after that write unpleasant things when I reply that I won't provide the service you want, like without, anal and more.

For me, it is the opposite situation. I am not trying to trick anyone with services that I am not willing to provide. On the contrary, I say no in advance, set some strict limits, which obviously makes some people angry.

In return, many receive services that they had not imagined when we first get started - sometimes that even I had not imagined 

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, for 13 minutter siden:

That was a very hard statement. Lucky for me there is someone who thinks the opposite 

But the point is also that you don't will not write and try to get an appointment with an African woman at all I guess. And after that write unpleasant things when I reply that I won't provide the service you want, like without, anal and more.

Yes, a bit hard but unfortunately that is my experience and it is also hard for me. Sorry, it was not directed at you.

I do see african girls! Obviously there are some who are ok or I would not have called at all. There is just a clear trend. I have never asked for without or anal. I am talking about things like being asked to hurry up after a short amount of time, etc.

latinas4ever skrev, for 1 time siden:

Yes, a bit hard but unfortunately that is my experience and it is also hard for me. Sorry, it was not directed at you.

I do see african girls! Obviously there are some who are ok or I would not have called at all. There is just a clear trend. I have never asked for without or anal. I am talking about things like being asked to hurry up after a short amount of time, etc.

This thread was not intended to discuss African girls.
But I think the difference is more between independent and organized girls from what I've heard.
I don't think to little time has been a problem by me unless the husband himself have a problem getting home to his wife in time  or I have told in advance that I have a time limit because I have to catch the train home to Sweden or something like that. I say no to meetings where the we have less than an hour. It's not enough for me to get my own pleasure out of it and also have a some time to be social.

But please stick to the subject 

Redigeret 5. August, 2023 2 år af Dark Sugarbabe

I did not mean to discuss african girls. It was just that you said you had a problem with men who bargain about the price, do not show a picture, try to cheat you with time, scam you, treat you with contempt, etc. That just rang a bell, hehe. I will try to stick to the topic. Hope you find a way to reduce those unpleasant experiences.

latinas4ever skrev, for 8 timer siden:

men who bargain about the price, do not show a picture, try to cheat you with time, scam you, treat you with contempt

I still don't understand the comparison. I clarify that my experiences are not during the meetings, but in the dialogue before the meetings.These are men who act unpleasant before they've even meet me.

Nor have I written that I have been cheated, I don't know how that would happen. The men who have met me have been nice and respectful. And I and they, I hope, have always had good experiences.

I have had a single case where someone showed up without money, even though we had agreed on everything, and thought he should have sex for free. I had to ask him to leave, which he did easily, so I wasn't cheated 

I love to do this and have good meetings and sex with the men I meet. I just find my experiences mentioned unpleasant and stressful and unnecessary. I don't understand why men who don't know me act like that. In return, I get lots of good energy from the men I meet. Thanks 

You do not see the other side of the coin. You wrote: ”I've never heard of people scam a restaurant because the prices are too expensive or the menu doesn't have what they want.”

I have been scammed many times. Paid for an hour, was hushed out of the door after 12 minutes. Learnt to start with 30 minutes. Did not get what was agreed upon, which suddenly cost extra despite being included in the menu. French? Extra. Touch boobs? Extra. Take off bra? Extra. Was promised good service in the ad but received indifferent service. Was physically restrained from sex through the use of her hips. It is an epidemic among african girls, much more than half and it is not for a lack of trying. Still cannot resist, though.

Sorry, I was not talking about you, I am sure you are not like that at all. That is why I do not like to generalise. It is great that you love what you are doing and have good meetings. I will stick to the topic.

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, den 6.8.2023 at 09:37:

. I clarify that my experiences are not during the meetings, but in the dialogue before the meetings.These are men who act unpleasant before they've even meet me.

+

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, den 6.8.2023 at 09:37:

. I don't understand why men who don't know me act like that.

I think the answer to your question or the reason to ur lack of understanding is in your fine writing above. The men you mention only act like this because they are unknown to you. They are anonymous and hiding behind an unknown email or a hidden telephone number ☎️ . Therefore they are not serious and don't feel the same kind of obligations towards you, as the ones you have met with.

Some men like to contact more women before they decide, whom to visit ...and forget to inform the other women, that they won't pay them a visit this time. Others perhaps get "cold feets" before an agreed meeting and also forget to cancel in good time. Some men simply contact you to harass you or to have their own kind of stupid fun, which I am embarrassed about as a man.    When one is anonymous, it is so much easier to do silly and stupid things, without facing any kind of responsibility.

 

Nevertheless the main and the most important is: 

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, den 6.8.2023 at 09:37:

The men who have met me have been nice and respectful. And I and they, I hope, have always had good experiences.

+

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, den 6.8.2023 at 09:37:

I love to do this and have good meetings and sex with the men I meet.

+

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, den 6.8.2023 at 09:37:

I get lots of good energy from the men I meet. Thanks 

Keep most of your focus on this @Dark Sugarbabe , then I think, it will be easier to forget the bad dialogues before the meetings    if you too believe in karma = what you give is what you get    things will never be that bad.

Dark Sugarbabe skrev, den 5.8.2023 at 18:06:.

First there are the men who just write very unpleasant and threatening messages out of nowhere. I know I shouldn't take them seriously, but it's actually very uncomfortable to recieve. 

Then there are all the men who constantly want to negotiate price, time or anything else that is beyond my limits like safe sex and other services. They don’t accept a nice no thanks and keep on bargain.

And there are men who won't send a picture before a meeting, which I require. I understand and accept that they won’t, but they won't understand and accept that I choose to meet the men who have no problem with it. It is my requirement to be sure that I enjoy a meeting myself and can therefore also give more enjoy the other way.

All these men write again and again and generally have the attitude that because they have to pay, they can demand anything. The worst thing is that many people get very angry when I politely decline and suggest that they find other nice girls who do not have the same requirements. Several write very bad things, call me bad names and are sometimes a some threatening.

In my opinion you need to cut the men with bad communication. Write in your ad that bargin, asking for extras not on your list, missing picture will result in blocking. And do it. Then you will not see what they write afterwards. Do not answer them, just block them. That will take away a lot of the above.

Yes there is a risk that you will get few contacts. But at least the contacts will fullfill your requirements. And you can focus on the men who are potentiel dates.